The Mobile Knowledge Worker & the Full-Body Scanner, Pt. 1

Happy 2011! It's the New Year, which marks a temporary end to the family-related travel season.

My trip back to the old homestead was not marred by weather delays. I didn't have to sleep in an airport or try to figure out alternative travel. But I did have to buy a new bra.

It all started before Thanksgiving, when I caught part of the Patt Morrison radio show on KPCC. Discussion centered on the full-body scanners that had begun to appear at LAX and other airports around the country. As I multi-tasked, I heard bits and pieces on the pros and cons of the new security measures. I learned that if you didn't want to go through the scanner, you could opt for a physical search. I heard the famous "But if you touch my junk, I'm gonna have you arrested." audio clip. I heard Kate Hanni, of FlyersRights.org, describe an upper body search that felt like a breast exam -- given by a stranger. I considered the issue: who looks at these images, whether they were stored, what the possible health concerns might be.

I decided that I was going for the Pat Down.

My first step was to buy a non-underwire bra. Why? I must have mashed together the full-body scanner information with my memories of flying shortly after September 11. At that time, underwire bras set off the security screening machines. Women wearing these bras were frisked. To avoid that problem, I had purchased a non-underwire bra. In 2010, a non-underwire bra had become my default security measure. And yes, Dear Reader, I now realize that as I didn't plan to go through any machines of any kind, it didn't matter what type of bra I wore. But I was in circling-the-wagons mode.

For those who don't know, non-underwire bras are not always easy to find. A saleswoman helped me to navigate the Goldilocks-like world of women's undergarments. Finally we found one that was just right.

Yet nothing is simple in this world. The perfect bra made me "nippy." I had to buy silicone breast petals to render the perfect bra wearable. The directions on the package cautioned against wearing them for more than 6 hours. Quickly doing the math, I reckoned that I'd have those things on for at least 10 hours. I had to allow for travel time to and from the airport and a cushion in case of delays at security.

I decided not to worry about it. I bought a few packets of Starbucks' VIA instant coffee (what if I didn't have access to good coffee?!) and sandwiches at La Brea Bakery (ditto regarding food).

I was ready for my encounter with the Transportation Security Administration.